How can hate become love
Rather than being afraid of what could happen, invest in yourself, put in the effort to change, and become interested in how you can change. The line between love and hate is thin. These two emotions share the common denominator, intense passion, but they influence us to do vastly opposite things.
Hatred is unhealthy and a great burden for one to bear. Hate creates stress and can become a huge factor in causing illnesses ranging from digestive disorders to insomnia to even cancer. When our bodies and minds are healthier, so are our relationships with other people.
When we turn our hatred into love, our brain releases dopamine, improving our mood. Turning hate into love can seem like it is easier said than done. However, you can do things, such as helping others, meditating, and being present. When we help others, we think less about ourselves and dwell on the things that frustrate us or negatively affect us. Meditation allows you to have a higher level of self-awareness. Even just a few minutes a day can help shed light on the reasons why you are full of hate in the first place and show you how to turn it into love.
Lastly, staying in the present moment and being observant of your feelings will allow you to cope with your emotions properly. Stenzel Clinical Services. The process of growth involves changes in what we like, who we like and what we find interesting. Along [ This finding may have implications in criminal cases. Join thought-provoking conversations, follow other Independent readers and see their replies.
Want to bookmark your favourite articles and stories to read or reference later? Start your Independent Premium subscription today. Already subscribed? Log in. Forgotten your password? Want an ad-free experience? Much of our relationship rhetoric focuses on positive and negative as two ends of a spectrum—feeling more positively toward your partner means you feel less negatively toward them, and vice versa.
Our feelings toward our partners can range wildly from moment to moment—and it seems that may just be part of the wild ride of sharing your life with another complex human being. These were disliked people who played an important role in their life, such as exes or estranged parents. Instead, it seems we hold some positive views of these significant others, even as we profess our dislike of them—even if we may not be able to admit it at a conscious level.
Of course, there is such a thing as too much hate. Instead, the key seems to be having a high enough ratio of positive to negative experiences. Researcher John Gottman found that stable, happy couples had about five times more positivity than negativity during conflict conversations. On the other hand, couples who were heading towards divorce had a ratio more like 0. That is, way more negative than positive.
While some negative emotions should be avoided at all costs, other negative emotions—such as guilt or sadness—when experienced in the appropriate setting, may be adaptive and help us change for the better.
Feeling sad about growing apart from a good friend may help you realize you still care about that relationship. In relationships, conflict can help you negate bad patterns and work through issues. We need some emotional variety —feeling good all the time might just get boring! The key is understanding—as opposed to avoiding conflict or suppressing bad feelings that are perfectly normal.
Along with my colleague Serena Chen, I ran seven different studies of couples, conflict, and relationship satisfaction. But when they came out of conflict feeling understood, there was no negative impact on relationship satisfaction.
We got these results in a number of different ways. People who reported fighting frequently—but who at the same time felt understood by their partners—were no less satisfied with their relationships than people who rarely fight. People who remembered a past conflict in which they felt understood were no less satisfied than those in a control group; those who did not feel understood showed negative effects.
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